june 4
i graduated college; i have a place to live, a beautiful loving soft fleshy acerbic roommate, and even a job. sorta.today:
independence calls.i'm actually in flight to oakland where i today begin to live, for at least a year. that's a nice feeling. to belong somewhere, and have some control of my destiny. to stop travelling and call somewhere home. to set up my computer.
and then i think about what kind of connectivity i'll have, and if i can get anybody else to pay for anything real fast (like isdn or a new modem)
and then i realize i start work on friday and i don't have a contract
and i remember the draft of the contract i read, and how i don't think i will ever agree to the essential tennant of the contract, which is this:
that i make stuff that somebody else owns. that my ideas, form and content, are property and packaged by somebody else.and i get my dander up, and i think, no way do i want to have my html lessons owned by ziff-davis. no way do i want to have my little tricks for teaching copyright and trademarked and owned by some big company.
i am set to start taping or at least talking this friday, on zdtv. they have offered me $700 for each weekly half hour segment, tape for two days teaching about the web. if i took the job, i'd have some nice midweek freetime, and it would come close to paying most all of my bills.
but then i think again about creativity and independence, and wanting to own my ideas, and i have faith that if i threw myself into independence, freelance writing, donations, djing, i could make this web independence work. or i could get a different job - an offline job (if they still have them) - one that would pay less but would have nothing to do with non-disclosure and rights in perpetuity.
i have a good lawyer, a family friend, and i have some faith in him. moreover, i know that what my employer wants from me is my creativity. and if i put it to them like this, they should get it: "i won't give you anything good if you will own it all. i want control and ownership too. share with me if you want to have a good tv show."
and mark petrakis always said, create from a place of plenty, make like you'll have more to make later - don't save your ideas and dole them out, because you've got to have faith that you justin will have the juice, it's parta who you are. something like that.
and it's nice to try new things, like corporate convergeance tv/web madness with miguel and annaliza, my differently weird coproducers, and all the fabulous friends i'll be able to have on as guests.
and right now i'm going to hope that works. because otherwise, i won't be able to work there - i'll do a consciously poor job at something i'm not suited to. i've got enough dough to last me about two months, and then i'm outta luck. actually, that's a good position to be in. and at least i got zdtv to fly me to oakland. now what about a shuttle?
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today's muzzik: i listen to the flight attendants distribute food ("chicken, pot roast, or cold turkey?"). and the flight movie in my right ear, in some small headphones i bought at radio shack. because i still object to renting headphones - i have never with my own money. few years back, i was so pissed, i stood and took a poll - "anyone hear think it's wrong we should have to pay for our headphones after we already paid so much money for this plane ticket? could i see a show of hands?" and no one in the cabin raised their hands, i remained standing, and some guy called me an asshole, the stewardess in the other asile asked me to please sit down sir and somebody else called me a hippy. i waited a little while longer but sentiment was not with me, no revolution, i sat down.
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justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>