25 march, 1996

25 march, 1996

literally,
who is a mother fucker?

a father.
still sick
starting to smell like it
old farts
crusty snot rags immersion
counterproductive, perhaps
but then when I'm ready,
I can emerge.

being sick,
I take longer to walk to places
not a bad thing.
I can't stay awake
for more than three hours
that sucks.

in shamanism
I mentioned my consumption
pot-cough connection
I seem to talk about my drug use or my sex life
in every class
drinking a noxious potion therein
kava and valerian root
(organic valium)
to take the achy edge off
during break, outside,
I found beer
a little of this,
a little of that,
my appetites easily whetted.
today was like spring
sixty degrees and shedding clothing
on the lawn
I love skirt-wearing weather
rya sed I haven't learned to sit in one
(cuz she could see up mine)
what makes her think I haven't learned?
jerry's got a strong constitution
how do you do it jerry?
don't tell anyone you're sick, cuz we are animals, you know animals prey on the sick.
he sez he's kidding.
Rabbi Howard Alpert speaks on sex and religion
how do we direct our physical energy
towards the special, the holy, not the gluttanous?
holy, kadosh, sex is physical pleasure
furthering emotional intimate bonds
that are inherently monogamous.
Mimonedes,
twelvth century Jewish scholar
said there should be no open windows during sex
not because people might see or hear,
but because the couple might be distracted.

gives a whole new perspective on fuck sound tracks
and porno videos.
Sex without
kadosh
non-holy physical union
could be borne of pathology
or could lead there
not a good idea.
as long as the sex is consentual,
gossip is a worse crime,
demeaning.
now is this the way life works?
no.
it is an ideal.
so I've got to try harder
to avoid suffering
(didn't get to ask about sexual healing
but I did emerge with this metaphor:
sex is like concrete between people
if you lay it down,
put it out,
don't put no building, no bricks on top of it
it gets crusty, impediment
In high school,
I was president, on the board of trustees
edited school papers, literary magazines.
here at swat,
besides making music and teachin' web,
the only thing I've been elected to
is [email protected]
virtual community and all that,
we had our first face to face meeting tonight
and we decided stuff.

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